The Truth about Networking
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Last month, I facilitated a series of workshop with an awesome group of senior executives. Networking is a critical sport at all stages of career, so I wasn't surprised when they wanted to address the topic. Still, I was surprised that even with their seniority and experience, they found themselves feeling inadequate at the craft. Some didn't feel they struck the right chord, or knew what to say. Some felt it was inauthentic and clunky. And all of them felt they didn't have the time to invest in it.
Well, luckily for them, for you, and for me, my network expanded about 15 years ago when I met Michael Melcher, an executive coach who was brought to Skadden, where I was practicing law, to discuss his then latest book, The Creative Lawyer. Michael was my first coach, inspired me to become an executive coach myself, and has continued to be a mentor and friend since then. And just last week, he released a new book Your Invisible Network that shatters all the myths those workshop participants (and probably you!) hold about networking.
So Michael and I had a great time chatting about three of those networking myths. You can watch the videos, read about them, or both. No matter what, I *highly recommend* you get the book. I read it all in one sitting, and spoiler alert: Michael tells you how to network effectively in just 20 minutes a day!
Myth #1: Networking has to take a huge amount of time.
Turns out, not so much! Michael says 20 minutes a day is all you need. If you approach your network like a garden, thinking about what you need to do to cultivate, water, and tend to it, you can grow flowers like a pro with limited daily effort. Still, there may be times when your situation involves more "urgency" and 20 minutes a day won't suffice. Michael tells us about those too. Check it out.
Myth #2: The people who know you best will serve you best.
Actually, the fact that those people know you best is the very reason they don't serve you best in a networking situation. Those folks have come to hold specific ideas about you -- what you're good at, what you're not good at; what they think is best for you, maybe even what they want for you. So they can easily operate with what Michael calls "loving doubts." In contrast, those who barely know you at all are open in a different way. They are happy to throw ideas at the wall without constraint, resulting it lots of action and activity. Check out more on those who know you the least can help you out the most.
Myth #3: Networking is fake and sales-y and I'd be a better human if I didn't do it.
You won't want to miss why Michael thinks this one is just all wrong. If you turn off the humdrum, quid pro quo cliches of happy hour networking events, and instead think about networking as a community building effort, you'll set yourself up for more joy in the process and better results. With a whole new lens on the value of networking, Michael shares how the very craft we love to hate can make us "happier grownups" in the end. This myth-buster is my favorite. Check it out.
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